EXPLORE THE IMPACTS
Repeated Failed Foster Placements
Repeated failed foster placements can have profound effects on brain development, emotional regulation, and attachment. Early disruptions in Felt Safety, Attachment, and Regulation (FAR) can make it difficult for children to form trust, manage stress, and navigate transitions, often leading to behaviors that are misunderstood by caregivers. Understanding the impact of multiple placements allows caregivers and professionals to provide compassionate, structured support that honors the individual’s experiences, builds safety, and fosters opportunities for connection and growth.
Brain
50%-70% of the human brain is developed AFTER we are born by and for the environment in which we find ourselves. To do that, the human brain requires between 6 months gestation to 18 months after birth the following experiences in this particular order…
Felt Safety
Attachment
Regulation
This means that if someone does not have Felt Safety during this time, the attachment center of the brain does not securely develop. If the attachment center does not securely develop then the regulation center does not develop because what regulates us are the visceral (felt in the body) memories of our connection with safe others - our positive relational memories or PRMs.
Multiple foster placements, especially in the first few years of life, disrupt the brain’s ability to develop the Felt Safety, Attachment, & Regulation parts of the Limbic System. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that AFTER the first 18 months of life, the brain does not care what order it receives Felt Safety, Attachment, or Regulation. When it receives any one of those three it stimulates growth in all three areas.
One of the challenges of multiple foster placements is that constant transition does not allow for any of these three parts of the brain to securely develop. Without consistency, predictability and safety, the brain cannot feel safe attach to safe others or regulate itself. It will not benefit the child to be told they are safe, they need the felt-sense of safety to register in their brain and body. They will need their feelings to honored and to be told it’s completely normal to feel scared or untrusting of those around them- that you, as a safe other, will be beside them as they slowly embrace their new environment.
Body
Without the Felt Safety, Attachment, & Regulation (FAR) part of the brain securely developed, the person cannot feel safe when they are safe, attach to safe others when they’re available, or self-regulate. One way you know this part of the limbic system is damaged or underdeveloped is if the person can “tantrum for hours,” which is a common challenge noted of youth with multiple foster placements and even a driving force behind multiple foster placements. With an intact, well developed Limbic System, you can only cry, rage, or “tantrum” for 20-30 minutes before the Limbic System shuts you down. This is what happens when we cry ourselves to sleep. This does not happen for someone with an underdeveloped Limbic System. They can and will cry for hours if someone does not co-regulate with them. Co-regulation actually is how the Limbic System is developed in the first place. When we are within six feet of a calm person, our brain and body will work to match their brain and body. This is done by electro-chemical energy, which is why you need to be within 6 feet of them.
Behavioral Patterns
Without a well developed FAR center of the brain, people can indiscriminately attach, which means attach randomly to anyone without regard to safety. This is because the part of the brain that should be assessing for safety is not developed. This also means the person cannot perceive treachery because it is the safety center of our brain that gives us that “creepy feeling” or other signal that lets us know something is not quite right. Without this, youth will connect with anyone.
People may also fear attachment and run from it or fight those who attempt to attach to them. This is often seen in people who have experienced Mood Syntonic Abuse, which is abuse that has been paired with love and affection. (Please see the Mood Syntonic Abuse Section for more details).
They have been hurt by someone they trusted, so their fear center will be set off by kindness or nurturance since it was used to hurt them in previous experiences.
People may have what is called a disorganized attachment, which means you cannot tell if they will or will not attach (work cooperatively with others) or how long they will remain attached. Many of these people are caught in what we call a Submit - Fight Cycle. They become so afraid (because of past experiences of being hurt intensely by people charged with their care or in positions of authority) that they submit and do whatever they are told until the person they fear leaves, and then they have enough felt safety to have a Fight Response, which results in them fighting the very people trying to help them. An example of this are youth who submit to primary caregivers who have hurt them and fight with foster parents and others working to help them. This Submit - Fight Cycle is not for youth only. It can occur in people of all ages and ability levels.
People with any of these attachment styles are often labeled “Reactive Attachment Disorder” or RAD when they are youth and then receive the label of “Borderline Personality Disorder” BPD when they are adults. These are not helpful labels and often lead to mistreatment or chemical restraint (overmedicating people as a behavior management strategy). When you see this diagnosis or even think it yourself, take a pause and learn from the person’s biography to identify a root of what might be causing the stress response to be overactive.
Supports
Reflect, Honor, & Connect is a way to help people struggling with FAR to feel seen and heard. When you are moving from home to home (which is a stressor unto itself) your voice is not heard, no less reflected back to you. No one is honoring what you’ve done to survive or even thanking you for having the courage to even begin to consider trusting someone again, and you definitely do not have people willing to take the time to connect with you. So, what seems like a small intervention can make a huge difference. This could open the door to helping them feel safe enough to begin to explore new things. In fact, they might have a poverty of experience and will need to be allowed, encouraged and assisted in exploring things, so they can start to develop interests.
Interests are something you can take with you from place to place. Work to help them engage their interests in ways that contribute to a group, their new home or their community. This can be a powerfully healing experience. We all need a valued social role, and those with multiple foster homes are in desperate need of that. Showing how any small thing they do contributes can be a way of easing them into a new way of seeing themselves as someone who matters.
Use the 3Ps as you begin to explore things with them. This will also help them with transitions (all of which will set off their fear center) even little ones. Multiple foster homes are traumatic transitions, so the brain will treat all transitions as traumatic because the fear center does not have a sense of time, so it can always prepare us for the worst case scenario. This is not a character flaw, it is built into us to help us survive. Honor their survival and help them begin to feel safe enough to explore places where they can begin to let their guard down just a little.
Multiple Foster Care Placements impacts the Brain, Body, & Behavioral patterns similarly to neglect because neglect is a part of the experience. Even attentive foster parents cannot meet someones needs then they are moving homes that often, so the person is experiencing these multiple disruptions as neglect. Please see the Neglect Section for more information on what is happening with the Brain, Body, & Behavior, as well as what to do about it.