EXPLORE THE IMPACTS
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse leaves deep imprints on the brain, body, and behavior, often creating heightened fear responses and difficulties with emotional regulation. Even activities meant to be fun can trigger automatic survival reactions, leading to aggression, shutdown, or hypervigilance. Understanding these patterns is essential for caregivers and professionals, as guided support, structured safety strategies, and intentional down-regulation can help individuals manage stress, process trauma, and build healthier ways to meet their needs.
Brain
Please see Domestic Violence and Bullying Sections.
Please also be aware that a persons brain will not down regulate (calm) without assistance, so whenever they are upregulated, even when it is something fun, they will need help down regulating.
The upregulation triggers visceral memories of their need to physically protect themselves and these automatic, subcortical memories will take over and even fun activities can unexpectedly activate an aggressive survival strategy. Planning for ways to down regulate will help them avoid this and when used at nighttime will help them sleep as well.
Body
Please see Domestic Violence and Bullying Sections.
Please be aware that their bodies, like their brains, will need help down regulating after becoming upregulated (no matter if it is through agitation or fun). They will need a planned cool down time.
Behavioral Patterns
The fear cascade is set off often from a visceral (unconscious memory felt in the body, not connected to narrative or story) memory, so aggression looks like it comes "out of nowhere." Actions do not make sense.
They look "spaced out, blank, not all there."
They can shut down (freeze) or they fly into a violent rage (fight) or bolt (flee) or become hypersexual (flock or submit) or start pleading with those around them to stop doing something or accuse them of doing something (fight).
Behaviorally the person might be:
on constant alert, unable to relax
feeling fearful
overwhelmed in social situations
learning abilities impaired
delayed developmental milestones
decreased ability to process positive or negative feedback
Supports
Engage the person with Safety Scripts when setting limits. Also have them design their own Safety Scripts to identify what they want to happen in their environments.
Honor what they have done to survive and help them find safe ways to meet their needs. Use the Anger Onion to help with this.
Reflect, Honor, & get Curious with them about what they can do with the energy they get from their anger.
DO NOT engage them using a punching bag. It only reinforces punching as a stress reliever. Help them find other ways to meet their needs for deep pressure and joint compression, which are both achieved through punching.
If you engage them in martial arts or sports make sure to add in a cool down session. Their brains will not down regulate without assistance. Somatic experiencing and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are helpful therapeutic approaches.