Mutually Enhancing Relationships

Impact of Trauma

1. Complex trauma is trauma that occurs at the hands of primary caregivers and keeps the basic building blocks for safe relationships from developing.  

2. Trauma at the hands of primary caregivers reverses the amygdala’s response to safe and unsafe relationships.  Since the people who were supposed to keep you safe hurt you, your amygdala gives you a feeling of safety with UNSAFE people and a feeling of unsafety with SAFE people.   

3. Relationships are craved but also a source of fear.  

4. People in positions of power are a source of fear

5. Safe relationships being taken away are a source of terror

6. You can be safe but not feel safe in your body

The Antidote

1. As a support person embody two awareness’s when encountering unsafe survival strategies:

   1. “Connect before you Correct”

   2. “This affects me, but it’s not about me.”

2. With this embodiment and awareness you can show up and BE a safe person for others- and that’s not all!  You can now join the person in finding ways to contribute back to your relationship and in other relationships in their life so everyone can experience the felt sense of giving and receiving.

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